...if you could read my mind...you'd be running away...



Saturday, March 27, 2004
secrets

last night a friend of mine told me all of his deepest darkest secrets. at first i was utterly pissed off. i mean, not to rub it in or anything, but these were really sick and twisted secrets.

so at first i was contemplating some really nasty things to say back to him, some really nasty hurtful things, but then it totally clicked--he had enough balls to tell me these secrets, how could i be so harsh to him??

so i promptly forgot everything i was going to tell him and we talked about it all.

but there is one thing i realised about all that...is that i'm not easily horrified. sure, i hate blood & guts, and all that fun stuff, and sure i'd pass out if i ever saw the innards of someone's body in like the ER or something, but even though this stuff was really bad, i wasn't that horrified.

i was disgusted, naturally.

and shocked, appalled, and sickened.

but i wasn't that horrified.

which goes to show something, i think.

but that's my little secret. :)

--me

~~cute but psycho...things even out~~

Posted at 04:50 pm by danielle
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Thursday, March 11, 2004
here's the michael jackson story

i had to do this for creative writing...we brought in three pictures, then we had to write a line of dialogue on each one.  then we put them all in a box and my teacher made us pick out three completely new ones, and told us we had to write a story of dialogue based on two of our three characters.

i got a black woman near a hut saying, "i wish life would improve."
i got a hair gel model guy saying, "dude!  i like totally think you look outrageous!"
i got michael jackson saying, "thinking about all of the evil in the world makes me want to cry, sometimes."

we had to incorporate the lines of dialogue into the story somewhere.

so...here it is!


"So, I was like, totally walking to class the other day," he told her as they walked into the coffee shop.

She selected a booth near the window. "And…?"

"And you’ll never guess who I ran into!"

"Who?" she asked, ordering a cappuccino from the waitress that approached them.

"This totally freaky dude," he continued. "He was wearing these dark glasses and a blanket to cover his face. Then, when we got inside, he lifted up the blanket and I saw he had this nasty, stringy black hair and he was all pale and freaky!"

She frowned and looked at him. "Do I know him or something?"

He got so excited that he jumped up and almost knocked the table over. "Yeah! Totally!" He dodged strange looks from other customers in the café and sat down.

"So…who is he?"

He glanced around the café, to make sure no one was listening in. Then, he leaned forward and whispered, "Michael Jackson!"

"No way!" she cried.

"Way!" he shouted.

"Then what?"

"Well, I was like, "Dude! I like totally think you look outrageous!" He just kind of stared at me, and then he took off the sunglasses."

She grinned. "Then what?"

"Well then he just looked at me, through freaky little eyes, and we just kind of stood there, and he looked like a statue." He laughed to himself. "And then he said to me, "Thinking about all of the evil in the world makes me want to cry, sometimes.""

She laughed. "He said that? Then what happened?"

"Then, he put his glasses back on, and he covered his head again, and he left." He leaned back in his seat, grinning.

"That is so crazy," she commented,

"Totally," he replied.


Posted at 12:28 pm by danielle
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pop-up ads

you know how pop up ads are so damn annoying??

well don't ya just hate it when a pop up ad pops up, and it says, "don't you just hate pop up ads??  click here to get rid of them!"

i also hate it when i get junk mail that says "tired of junk mail??"

oy.

pete went to school with me yesterday.  it was fun!!

we went to american novel, where my teacher showed up 14 minutes late.  he apologised for being late, and then proceeded to write on the board for about 45 minutes straight.  honestly.  our midterm is a choice of two or three essay questions, so he was writing them on the board for us, and so it was probably quite uninteresting for pete.  cos then, after he wrote them on the board, he read them to us, asked us if we had any questions, and then talked for 5 minutes on the use of the word nigger in the adventures of huckleberry finn.

then we went up by sandra, and she was cleaning her room.  she gave us her card and let us go get some food for lunch, and then we sat around for a little while before we went to film class.

film class was fun.  we watched the end of alien, since we didnt finish on monday, and then discussed it a little.  that movie is a sick perverted movie.  next time you watch it, notice all the references to vaginas and births.  for example, when the crew people go into the alien ship, it looks strangely like a vagina.  either that, or the lady who's article we read in class is just obsessed with the female reproductive system.  after that, we saw the first four presentations--one on the thing, one on the hand that rocks the cradle, one on carrie, and one on species.  they were good, and kind of interesting.  i don't have to do my presentation until the end of april, so yay!

lessee, what else??  that was pretty much it...pete's dad came and picked him up and i went on my merry way to creative writing class.  heh heh...every liked my michael jackson story.  maybe i'll post it in here later!!

--me

~~don't you have anything better to do than follow me everywhere i go??~~

Posted at 12:25 pm by danielle
Comments (1)

Friday, February 27, 2004
pass it on


Posted at 08:13 pm by danielle
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Monday, February 23, 2004
YATTA!

KnIcKaBoB: that wouldn't be the first time, you know...
me: you must have high butter knife tolerance levels then?

KnIcKaBoB: i've eaten mioney for real, though
me: what does it taste like?
KnIcKaBoB: paper, dumbass
me: hey now, i dont eat paper on a regular basis
KnIcKaBoB: well
KnIcKaBoB: it's paper...
KnIcKaBoB: it's high in fiber

Splendid pearl: mmm, film
Splendid pearl: I ate a whole bag of cheezits today.  Good stuff.

me: i admire you're wriitng talents, so why not?
Splendid pearl: You're older than me, and likely have written more, though
me: that doesnt matter, i could be writing four-line poetry about barney the purple dinosaur while you're writing awesome essays that your damn english teachers rip apart for no reason
me: bitches
Splendid pearl: Yeah, bitches.  You said it girl.

i HATE MY LiFE.  EVERY DAY i POLiSH MY REVOLVER AND i SHOOT MY HEAD.  LiKE A ROCKSTAR.

Posted at 02:31 am by danielle
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Wednesday, February 18, 2004
RARR...damn republicans

           
Marriage is love.

Posted at 12:15 am by danielle
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Thursday, February 12, 2004
bitches better stay away from my man!

(i accidentally signed on as pete (SiRGiMpSaLoT6) and then...)

SkyBlueStarBurst: hey u sexy stud
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: who the hell are you????
SkyBlueStarBurst: hmm
SkyBlueStarBurst: i cant rember
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: who are you???
SkyBlueStarBurst: like u dont kno..
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: ummm...not
SkyBlueStarBurst: what
SkyBlueStarBurst: is this pete?
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: um no this is pete's girlfriend
SkyBlueStarBurst: haha
SkyBlueStarBurst: im his sister
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: no you arent you fucked up bitch
SkyBlueStarBurst: im ur mother
SkyBlueStarBurst: u better watch that tone
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: you better stay the hell away from my boyfriend
SkyBlueStarBurst: lmao
...
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: i would hope you don't greet all your friends like the way you greeted who you thought was pete
SkyBlueStarBurst: lol no..pete's just special
SkyBlueStarBurst: he makes me wet my pants
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: you can't get a guy of your own so you have to go after mine
SkyBlueStarBurst: hmm something like that
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: how, um...slutty?  i think that's the correct word
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: you poor...poor desperate creature
SkyBlueStarBurst: is ur adhd that bad?
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: i'm proud to have adhd rather than crabs or herpes like you
SkyBlueStarBurst: and what..u have aids?
SkyBlueStarBurst: are u holding something back?
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: no, i wouldn't have aids cos i can keep my legs shut for only one man
SkyBlueStarBurst: really
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: really
SkyBlueStarBurst: hmm ya
SkyBlueStarBurst: i cant
SkyBlueStarBurst: im sucha whore
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: glad you can admit that
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: it's the first step on the road to recovery
...
SkyBlueStarBurst: anyways
SkyBlueStarBurst: whats ur name
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: why the hell do you want to know my name??  it's not like you could scream it later and forget it the next day
SkyBlueStarBurst: are u on drugs for ur disability?
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: are you on drugs to get the cum out of your brain??
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: i should hope you are
SkyBlueStarBurst: cum is soo good...u should try it sometime..
...
SkyBlueStarBurst: anywho
SkyBlueStarBurst: hows my pookey doing?
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: i dont know, have you changed it's batteries lately?
...
SkyBlueStarBurst: so like
SkyBlueStarBurst: whats goin on:-)
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: i gtg make dinner, so why don't i let you speak with pete?
SkyBlueStarBurst: sure
SkyBlueStarBurst: lol
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: bye, whore...;-)
SkyBlueStarBurst: lol dont hate
(pete sat in for me whilst i made us dinner)
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: ain't she cute:-D
SkyBlueStarBurst: dont hate me cause im beautiful
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: no, it isnt anyone's job to hate u because ur beautiful....
SkyBlueStarBurst: ur gf is soo sweet
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: but it is someones job to turn u into a slutbag
SkyBlueStarBurst: its funny how she calls me a slut...
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: im offended at how u spoke to the love of my life
SkyBlueStarBurst: oh well
SkyBlueStarBurst: shes being a bitch
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: hey, im letting her vent, besides u are a kniving cocktease
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: u said u tasted cum, but to me u said u would never suck cock cuz it was nasty
SkyBlueStarBurst: it is nasty
SkyBlueStarBurst: i just said that cause i had nothing to say at the moment
SkyBlueStarBurst: w/e bye,
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: thats cuz u got cum between ywe ears
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: *yer
SkyBlueStarBurst: this obviously isnt pete
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: why not?
SkyBlueStarBurst: so fuck u buh bye
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: ok ask me something only i would know
...
SkyBlueStarBurst: all i kno is that im pissed
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: which teachers cock was stabbing yer ass this time?
...
SkyBlueStarBurst: what are u talking about
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: that u were "pretending" that u wanna suck my cock
SkyBlueStarBurst: bye
...
SiRGiMpSaLoT6: even if i was seeing other people,...that doesnt mean i want herpes from u
SkyBlueStarBurst signed off at 9:42:42 PM.
SkyBlueStarBurst: aight so u want me to be a bitch? okay..so why are u in a wheelchair pete? why?
SkyBlueStarBurst signed off at 9:47:32 PM.

~~pete and i shared a good laugh over that, and over the fact that she thinks she can hurt his feelings by asking him why he's in a chair?~~


 

~~why do we have to leave america to visit america jr??~~


Posted at 10:24 pm by danielle
Comments (2)

Saturday, January 31, 2004
aeon

aeon

by lacuna coil

there is something
in your eyes
flowing them over
stealing all the harmony
which lives in me
your hands are covering
my tears
oh, why?
there's a sort
of inner dance
trying to seduce me
feeling this anomaly
whick takes me
your touch
you're here
you heart


Posted at 02:25 am by danielle
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grr...lost my entry but here it is again!

so...i was going to mention this but i uh, i forgot.

the piercing situation


so my mom said if i get my lip pierced i will have to move out...anyone want some company for a year or so?!?!?!

so yeah, tuesday i went with pedro and mike to get pedro's eyebrow pierced.  before we went in, mike was begging jamie (the owner of altered evolution) for a job there.  jamie declined, saying that they had no openings.  so then, later, when pedro was done, mike and jamie were talking, and jamie mentioned they might open another store in north dakota.  miek suggested they open one in germantown, since we have one piercer here who i (unforetunately) know, and he is operating with a liscense he got off the internet.  (for all y'all who live out here, it's jake fulwiler...well jake marasch whatever the hell his name is now).

so anyway, jamie was interested, and told mike that if mike's dad would finance them, he'd open a store in gtown AND let mike run the place!!  so mike went home and asked his dad, and his dad agreed!!  so now, they just have to get it past the conservative gtown board and hope it goes through.  mike doesn't think it will, since they wouldn't allow a porn store in gtown, but my parents said that wasn't a porn store ,it was that video update didn't have a porn renting lisence.  so whatever, i think they'd go for it, since it'll bring in money.

plus if mike runs it, i want a job!!  i don't want to pierce anyone but even like cleaning stuff and like doing secretary stuff would be fun.  maybe mike would let me be an assistant manager...?  anyway...i should be happy with the job i have now...but i'm not.

speaking of which, i guess we might hire this new girl, a woman who worked for john's dad for 37 years and now bob's retiring, and she needs a job.  she'd be hired to help out dad, sue, and i, but john was making it seem like donna would replace me.  but the fun thing is i'd train her, and then leave, and i'd get a nice fat paycheck from training her *grin*

--me

~~can't you take me away from your lies??~~


Posted at 02:20 am by danielle
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Thursday, January 29, 2004
didn't think superman was such a conversation starter!

mii: Did Superman and Wonder Woman ever have babies?
mii: They coulda had a 'super wonder girl' or something..
me: idk
me: i think she's the only woman who can have his babies
me: i think woder woman carried lois lane's baby for her
me: cos apparently superman's dick is huge
mii: wtf?
mii: ok
mii: Interesting....
me: lol
mii: Are you making that up/
me: no
me: fo sho
mii: wow
mii: True dat
...
mii: Where did you hear that superman dick thing?
me: idk i guess i partly assumed it why?
mii: Its just a bit bizarre
me: well he's like...superman
me: if you were superman, don't you think you'd have a big dick?
mii: Superman...superdick..
mii: No, look at his spandex
me: yeah i bet he tucks it under
me: notice the bulge under, not in front??
mii: Point taken

Posted at 12:01 am by danielle
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Next Page



dear, dear diary, i want to tell my secrets~~cuz you're the only one that i know who'll keep them~~dear, dear diary, i want to tell my secrets~~i know you'll keep them, and this is what i've done


   
<< October 2021 >>
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so, so you think you can tell
heaven from hell,
blue skys from pain.
can you tell a green field
from a cold steel rail?
a smile from a veil?
do you think you can tell?

and did they get you to trade
your heros for ghosts?
hot ashes for trees?
hot air for a cool breeze?
cold comfort for change?
and did you exchange
a walk on part in the war
for a lead role in a cage?

how i wish, how i wish you were here.
we're just two lost souls
swimming in a fish bowl,
year after year,
running over the same old ground.
what have we found?
the same old fears.
wish you were here.




i keep asking what's your lie?
it is disturbing this isn't mine
days keep passing one notch at a time
i don't feel right please God let me sleep tonight
everyday confronted fuck off, it's giving in
i just wanna know why
want to give it up but i can't escape
i keep asking again please try it is haunting
this takes my mind
days keep passing line after line
i don't feel right please God don't let me die tonight
please God... please God help me please God free me
please God save me from my painful situation
please God don't let me slip in tonight,
please God please God don't let me chip in tonight,
please God please God don't let me slip in tonight,
don't let me die
please God don't let me give in tonight, don't let me die




I can remember the very first time I cried
How I wiped my eyes and buried the pain inside
All of my memories - good and bad - that's past
Didn't even take the time to realize

Staring at the cracks in the walls
Cuz I'm waiting for it all to come to an end
Still I curl up right under the bed
Cuz its takin' over my head all over again

Do you even know who you are?
I guess I'm trying to find
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
I want to be a star
Is life good to you or is it bad?
I can't tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?

Lying awake watching the sunlight
How the birds will sing as I count the rings around my eyes
Constantly pushing the world I know aside
I don't even feel the pain, I don't even want to try

I'm lookingfor a way to become
The person that I dreamt of when I was sixteen
Oh, nothingis ever enough
Ooh, baby, it ain't enough for what it may seem

Do you even know who you are?
I'm still tryin to find
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
Everybody wants to be
Is life good to you or is it bad?
I can't tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
No

Sorry girl, tell a tale for me
Cuz I'm wondering how you really feel
I'm a lonely girl, I'll tell a tale for you
Cuz I'm just tryingto make all my dreams come true

Do you even know who you are?
Oh, yeah, yeah
A borrowed dream or a superstar?
Oh, I wanted to be a star
Is life good to you or is it bad?
I can't tell, I can't tell anymore
Do you even know what you have?
I guess not, oh I guess not




you and me we have no faces
soon our lives they’ll be erased
do you think they will remember?
or will we just be replaced
oh i wish that i could see
how i wish that i could fly
all the things that hang above me
to a place where i can cry

so why can it be?
no one hears because
echoes back at me
no one's there

to all these meaningless feelings
i can't deal with in my life
to all these greedy people
trying to feed on what is mine
you’ve got to feed your hunger
and stop fucking with my mind
i know it's time to leave these places far behind

where are all these feelings hiding?
dancing in and out my mind
burning up all that i long for
feeding me till my decline
where are you?
my soul is bleeding
i am searching
am i blind?
all alone and bound forever
trapped inside me for all time

to all these meaningless feelings
i can't deal with in my life
to all these greedy people
trying to feed on what is mine
you’ve got to feed your hunger
and stop fucking with my mind
i know it's time to leave these places far behind


i see your bleeding dark side
i feel your angry heart
reveals forbidden places
more monster yet alive

no faith
changing into something less than human
no longer part of this
the influence
changing into something less than human
no longer part of this machine
no mind
changing into something less than human
no longer part of this
it's chemical
changing into something less than human
no longer part of this machine

get into my hidden demon
get out of my swollen head
shines down on blackened faces
changing at your expense


You think you're smart?
You're not, It's plain to see.
That you want me to fall off.
It's killing me.
Lets, see, you've got the gall.
Come take it all.
The jury is coming,
Coming to tear me apart.
All this bitching and moaning.
Come on it's on.

I'm trapped in this world
Lonely and fading,
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come.
We are stuck in this world
That's not meant for me, for me.

So what you got
One last shot, it seems to me
That you're not needed.
Come on, it's killing me
Let's see, you've got the gall.
Come take it all.
The jury is coming,
Coming to tear me apart.
All this bitching and moaning.
Come on it's on.

I'm trapped in this world
Lonely and fading,
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come.
We are stuck in this world
That's not meant for me, for me.

Come on it's on. Come on it's on.
Come on it's on. Come on it's on.

I'm trapped in this world
Lonely and fading,
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come.
We are stuck in this world
That's not meant for me, for me.

I'm trapped in this world
Lonely and fading,
Heartbroke and waiting
For you to come.
We are stuck in this world
That's not meant for me, for me.



it's you that i adore
you'll always be my whore
you'll be a mother to my child
and a child to my heart
we must never be apart
we must never be apart
lovely girl, you're the beauty in my world
without you, there aren't reasons left to find
and you'll pull your crooked teeth
you'll be perfect just like me
you'll be a lover in my bed
and a gun to my head
we must never be apart
we must never be apart
lovely girl, you're the murder in my world
dressing coffins for the souls i've left to die
drinking mercury to the mystery of all
that you should ever seek to find
in time
in you i see dirty
in you i count stars
in you i feel so pretty
in you i taste God
in you i feel so hungry
in you i crash cars
we must never be apart
drinking mercury to the mystery of all
that you should ever seek to find
lovely girl, you're the murder in my world
dressing coffins for the souls i've left behind
in time
we must never be apart
and you'll always be my whore
cause you're the one that i adore
and you'll pull your crooked teeth
you'll be perfect just like me
in you i feel so dirty
in you i crash cars
in you i feel so pretty
in you i taste God
we must never be apart

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Mata ah-oo hima de
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,
Himitsu wo shiri tai
You're wondering who I am-machine or mannequin
With parts made in Japan, I am the modren man
I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin
My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M.
So if you see me acting strangely, don't be surprised
I'm just a man who needed someone, and somewhere to hide
To keep me alive-just keep me alive
Somewhere to hide to keep me alive
I'm not a robot without emotions-I'm not what you see
I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free
I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control
Beyond my control-we all need control
I need control-we all need control
I am the modren man, who hides behind a mask
So no one else can see my true identity
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For doing the jobs that nobody wants to
And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto
For helping me escape just when I needed to
Thank you-thank you, thank you
I want to thank you, please, thank you
The problem's plain to see: too much technology
Machines to save our lives. Machines dehumanize.
The time has come at last
To throw away this mask
So everyone can see
My true identity...
I'm Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy! Kilroy!




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